When we first got married it seemed there was no end to what we could dream. But devastating, crippling, never- ending sickness and profound disability came and never went away. Now our dreams are necessarily limited. Not many could cope.
We have not only had to take on living within and through constant suffering, we have had to deal with the lack of resolution . Other people get sick and get better, there is an end to it. Here, after 21 years, there is no end remotely in sight, in fact it gets worse by the day.
To take on a journey like this, three things are necessary : the ability to embrace uncertainty, the courage to hold on, the desire to grow – in other words, Faith, Hope and Love.
The carer, who enters in and dares to tread where others would not dare ,who sees what no one else will see, will end up taking on many things
When you enter, with open heart into the life of someone , fragile, vulnerable, physically ill and incapacitated, it is very important that you see things clearly and that you still maintain some sense of self, so that your whole world does not become consumed by the illness.
Beware of taking on more than you should, of identifying with the person more than is healthy, of over identifying with the ill person’s experience and somehow making it your own, this will not help either of you.
To take on what is right and just and not to take on that which you should not, turn your eyes to God and always ask for His help. His gifts of the Spirit are powerful.
There is great need for wisdom, discernment, truth, there is great need for love, compassion, mercy.
These gifts will empower you, will heal you, will aid you and remember that these gifts are not just for you to use for others, but also to use for yourself. Always be kind to yourself, always seek for understanding and self awareness.
Self awareness, illuminated by God’s light, empowered by God’s Spirit, filled with God’s compassion and mercy, will keep you safe.