MY HEAD IS COMPRESSED by the illness. All thought is an effort against the crushing pressure of nothingness that oppresses my mind where thought and aliveness, light and brilliance should be.
My body thumps its painful rhythm in time with my heartbeat, truly I struggle in these moments. I seek God innerly in the gloom. I look with inner vision through the heavy fog for the golden glow of His Love. I feel that golden light, His Presence, gently holding me. My heart is golden yet with warm feelings to dispel the outward chill of numbness, paralysis, pain.
What then is prayer in this place of no thought? A few stumbling words perhaps. Yet still above, beyond, within this tormenting existence is His Presence, alive with beauty and oneness. This then is my prayer.
The wonder of His Being, present in all of me, radiating holiness, despite the physical suffering. Let me feel you oh Lord.
(FROM:”Living in the Heart of Love“, a new book for those who suffer, out soon)